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Ask a life coach

How to Build Confidence

Confidence is the predictor of our success and happiness.  Confidence is defined as a feeling or belief that you can do something or succeed at something. This means to be able to accomplish our goals and challenge ourselves inner confidence is a must-have.  What's great about confidence is that it comes from within, meaning we don't need anyone's support or belief in us to have confidence in ourselves.  As a life & career coach for leaders, this is single-handedly the most talked about feeling that my clients want to have no matter where they are in their lives or careers.  So if you struggle with confidence, don't worry, you're not alone and you can change it!


Here are my life coach tips for how to build your confidence and self-esteem:


1. Start a daily routine of writing down things that you're good at.  Start the sentence with "I am" and talk about it in the present tense.  For example, I  am an expert career and life coach for Millennial women or I am amazing at empowering people. When we designate time to acknowledge our worth and value it builds our confidence. If this is difficult, just start with one statement a day.


2. Let go of perfection.  When we're young we're taught that being perfect will get us the scholarships, the good grades, that it will help us fit in, etc.  It has likely done great things for you but as we get older the need for perfection can create additional stress and anxiety.  My life coach advice, embrace your mistakes.  Everyone makes mistakes, from your mom to Beyonce, you're in great company!


3. Don't take criticism as a personal attack or judgment of character.  My life coach tip is to frame it as something that can help you grow and evolve.  


4. Change your body language.  When we cross our arms or sit close together we're communicating to our body to close down and isolate ourselves.  Our human need is to connect with others when we disconnect we pull away which reduces our confidence. Check out Amy Cuddy's TED Talk on how your body language shapes who you are.  Bring on the power poses!!!


5. Be prepared.  If there's a deadline or big meeting approaching that's giving you a lot of pressure, research it and gather more information.  The more we know the more confident we feel! And if you don't know the answer to a question, no sweat just say "I'm still working on finding the right answer to that question."


6. Create a list of all of your accomplishments.  When you're feeling down or unworthy reference the list so you can see all of the great things that you have accomplished!

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