From Shame To Shine: You Are Beautiful Right Here, Right Now
November 30, 2015
Guest Contribution by Katie K.
Ladies, have you ever tried on something so hideous in the changing room you refused to come out and show anyone? Something so grotesque you just felt like the ugliest person in the world? Or the fattest? I’ve felt this way. In fact, I felt this way for a long time and it wasn’t because of an article of clothing. I felt this way in my own skin.
That I hated myself is an understatement. Negative self-talk and body loathing perpetrated into destructive habits with my health, wellbeing and happiness hanging in the balance. This cycle was born from a trauma that led to a perfect storm in my life: 1) I felt it impossible to love myself when it seemed those who should love me the most didn’t even love me 2) as a type A, I had to control something. That something for me was food.
I never stopped eating completely. I did eat every day. I just regulated my daily intake to a bare minimum and when I thought I’d eaten too much, I’d hit the gym extra hard. I stayed so busy that is was uncommon for me to share a meal with anyone. No one noticed. Or, if they did, they didn’t say anything. I was really good at being happy when I was around people – but, inside, I felt like I wanted to die.
It wasn’t until I moved away and had a new routine that someone noticed. By that time, I’d stopped getting my period,MY HAIR was brittle and unhealthy – my body was shutting down. This new someone in my life, she saved me. She wouldn’t accept my BS excuses and became my fiercest protector and friend. My recovery has been a journey, it didn’t happen overnight. But, because of her, I took the first steps toward a healthy, happy and whole life.
Ladies, I’ve learned so much throughout this journey I’d love to share with you. If I can boil it down to the four most important things, they’d be:
I want you to know you are beautiful and you are loved, right here and right now. If we ever meet face-to-face, I’ll tell you the same thing. In fact, you may be uncomfortable with the compliments I’ll pour out – but it is important for me that every girl, young lady and woman know how beautiful they truly are.
Practice self-love. Eat healthy, get a full night’s rest, exercise,MEDITATE, pray, spend time with loved ones. Do what you do to take care of yourself.
Be a friend that saves a life. This means speaking the truth in love, even when it is the hardest conversation you’ll ever have.
Accept help. Visit NEDA today if you or a loved one is struggling with an eating disorder. You, my friend, deserve to be happy, healthy and whole.
If you would like to contribute your shame to shine story to help others please e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Jenn DeWall, Denver based Career & Life Coach for Millennial Women